December. Crazy, crazy, December.

            I’ve been feeling like I’m caught in a whirlwind. I don’t really know where December went. Well. I do. But man, it went fast. December began with all the gallbladder/dying nonsense. I ended up at the hospital in Denver, thought I was getting better, and then ended up in the hospital in Barrhead for six days. A gallbladder attack resulted in a stone getting stuck and me ending up with pancreatitis, which meant I had to go to the Royal Alexander hospital in an ambulance (seriously, I should almost have my name engraved on one at this point.) to get some thing shoved down my throat and remove the stone so that my lipid level (which was over 42,000 – a normal lipid level is under 300. Ha. Wow.) would go down. I don’t really remember much of that day – yay drugs! After a couple of days of morphine and letting my organs recover, my skin and eyes decided yellow was not the most flattering color, and I was feeling much better. I had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder because the surgeon informed me if I had another attack it could be fatal. So sayonara, gallbladder. Surgery went well and I was able to come home the same day. My mommy came and took care of me for awhile, yay! Next order of business was to get my milk supply back, which had gone from super awesome, feed the world’s hungry babies, to… hardly anything. I think the most traumatic thing out of that whole experience would have been not being able to nurse anymore. But with some stubbornness, pumping, supplementing, and lots of nursing, I can say WOOHOO! Christmas day was the first day Kadon didn’t need any supplementing at all. What an awesome gift.

            So yes, after that whole ordeal, suddenly it was mid December, my house was in ruins from coming back from our trip and neglect, Sheldon was scurrying around trying to finish up the living room renovation before Christmas, and we had to do Christmas shopping and put up the tree and Kadon’s dedication, and Christmas with Grandma, and Blum Christmas and Blum Christmas Eve and Weinrich Christmas Day… and then sleeping most of Boxing Day.

            Kadon’s dedication was so special. He didn’t cry. When the pastor held him he just looked around and sucked on his fingers. It felt so good to stand up there and dedicate Kadon to God, to speak blessings over him and be surrounded by family who love him so much. My heart was filled with joy and sadness as I was celebrating how I have a son whose life is dedicated to God, and grieving how I didn’t get to experience this with Rory. The heart is so amazing. There seems to be no limit to the amount of differing, and even contradicting, emotions it can hold.

            All of our Christmas’s went really well and were special and more meaningful because Kadon was there. I still cried when I decorated the Christmas tree and hung up Kadon and Rory’s ornaments. I still wished there was a little 16 month old breaking ornaments and tearing open presents. But Kadon brought so much joy and peace, and even though holidays are still hard, there is nothing more soothing than his pudgy little cheeks, his bright blue eyes, his expressive cooing, and his infectious giggle.

            It’s hard to believe we have had two Christmas’s without Rory. Time just seems to be whizzing by. My little boy, my little life-saver and joy-giver, is almost five months old. A new year is beginning soon. I usually mock and ignore New Year’s resolutions. Mainly because, if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s resolute. I have a tendency to get excited about things, to write them down, to make superb tracking calendars and notes and stay up late excited over my latest good intentions and then wake up the next morning to find all of my motivation somehow drained out into my pillow. But maybe I should try to ride the whole New Year Resolution wave and maybe I’ll at least get off to a running start. Or you know… start…

·        Blogging more often

·        Finish my novel

·        Get ready and organized to write The Rory Story

·        Keep up with filing/bookwork

·        Eat healthier and make delicious shakes part of my every day routine

·        Work out (once my six weeks after surgery are up.) – and not feel defeated when I only have time to go on my elliptical for 20 minutes. It’s better than nothing, and working out for an hour every day is not something I will keep up with.

And because I like to have resolutions I know I’ll actually do…

·        Give Kadon many, many smooches every day

·        Read books.

·        Find more soup recipes

·        Take Kadon to meet Bama

   So that’s what’s been up in my life lately. Now Leanne, Bryce, and the kidlets are out. I love watching Parker and Cameron interact with Kadon. They love him so much. I wish Denver weren’t so far away. Parker always wants to hold Kadon and she’ll just sit there and smooch on him and wave his arms and say, “YAY FOOTBALL!” She sings him lullabies and tells me if he cries during the night to come get her because she’s the baby whisperer. She is hilarious. And adorable. It must run in the family, because Lily is awfully cute too. She was over the other day and as she was passing out goodbye hugs and kisses to everyone she came and gave Kadon a hug and kiss and said, “Bye, Baby!” And then of course there’s Cameron, who likes to hold Kadon’s hand while he’s holding him. If he sees Parker with him he comes to me and points emphatically to Kadon and then to his chest. “Me! Me!” Kadon sure is a well-loved little guy.

               Speaking of, I think he needs more smooches.