Incoherently Yours

            I had a feeling something was wrong.             The generic, non-specific, almost evasive way the ultrasound technician talked to me. Friendly, but something felt just a little off. I asked her if the tear had healed. I know technically they aren’t supposed to say anything, but sometimes if you ask the right question or are specific they will give a one word answer.             “I got a good look at it, but I’m not allowed to say anything.”             Warning bells went off in my head. I’m not sure what it was. Maybe she hesitated, maybe she froze for a second. But I instantly felt uneasy and wished I hadn’t asked.             I called the doctor the next day to hear the report. He was on holidays until the next d...

 I am 16 weeks along in this, my third pregnancy, tomorrow. The first trimester went by with no complications, just exhaustion and feeling fat – basically exactly how you are supposed to feel. Last week brought along the expected but dreaded complications. Bleeding. Doctors office. Ultrasound. More bleeding. Emergency room. Bedrest. That’s basically how my weekend went, how about yours? As it stands now, I am no longer on bedrest, just on “take it really easy”. What they suspect has happened is the placenta has torn away a little bit, creating a small, looney (One dollar coin for your Americans. ;) ) sized tear which is causing the bleeding. This isn’t really uncommon and best case scenario is the placenta reabsorbs everything and pregnancy continues normally. I’m having an ultrasound next week to see if the bleed in my uterus is healing, or if it is getting worse. There is no treatment if the tear is getting worse, you just basically move as little as possible and hope th...

I wish I could bottle up the essence of who Kadon is right now and keep it in a safe place. Babies grow up so fast. They learn and change and discover every day. It makes me sad to think that the small things he does to make me laugh, smile, or make my heart burst out with love are passing moments. In 18 years I may not remember them. Thank God I’m a writer.                 Kadon didn’t learn to walk so much as he learned to run. He also runs without looking where he’s going. In fact, sometimes he runs while looking behind. I’m convinced he’s made of rubber, which is a good thing, considering how much he falls. He also has a habit of stepping on a toy and doing a slide and half backflip and landing on his back with his feet in the air. Most of the time he doesn’t even cry. He just lets out an offended sounded roar, sometimes stomps on the guilty toy, and heads off to his next adventure/mishap. I can’t help but...

                I did something kind of crazy recently. Something that scared me. Something that impassioned me. Something that empowers me.                 I became an Independent Consultant for Arbonne.                 I know, earth shattering right? Who knew selling hand cream could affect me this way?                 The thing is, I’d been passively looking for something to supplement our income. I’d occasionally flip through the Job Opportunities in the paper, knowing I wouldn’t ever really find something I’d be willing to drive an hour for and spend all day away from Kadon for. But there was just a part of me that wanted to contribute. The first time I got my Child Tax Cheq...

I meant to do weekly updates on my new fitness regime, T25. However, I am on day two of the third week so, y’know, best intentions and all that. So let’s see. For starters, I am still alive. There is this little chart that comes with the DVD’s where you tick off whether you Nailed! The work-out or whether you Barely Made It. After the first few days I was tempted to just tick off Barely Made It for the front part of the chart. (I didn’t even want to think about the flip side of the chart – where apparently the work-outs get “amped up”. I probably will die then. Send flowers.) I knew I would feel discouraged and weak the first week. And I did. I most certainly did. I was wondering how on earth this could possibly work when it felt like I was spending most of my time wondering how I was supposed to lift knees no longer connected to my body, or how I was supposed to get off the floor and sprint when there had obviously been a major super glue accident and I was glued to the ...

Today I started a Challenge. I started the T25 FOCUS program by Shaun T – the creator of the Insanity Workouts (BeachBody). Basically it’s interval training. At first I was turned off by the name BeachBody. My goal in life is not to be able to strut around in a bikini. I thought maybe this was a program for those already skinny people to become even more skinny, hot, and totally absorbed in their own looks. I was pretty skeptical about the nutritional shake that came with the program as well. I decided to give it a try because I wanted to do the program as a whole. I’m very happy to say, after doing some reading, talking to my friend, Sarah, who is a BeachBody coach, and reading the ingredients list on the back of Shakeology, I am becoming a convert! This program is concerned with health and nutrition, two things I am trying to focus on. I’m really excited about the fantastic ingredients in the shake, including superfoods and cancer fighting herbs, with no hidden, scary i...

Just to show you how bipolar I can be, here is another post! Because I’m actually not depressed today, I just needed to get the previous post written down and out of my system. Fall is here! And today! Today I am going to roast beets. And attempt to eat beet greens. Weird. I’ve only ever had them pickled. I love pickled beets. So we shall see. I organized my cold room last night. There is something immensely satisfying about having shelves full of pickles, peaches, beets, raspberry cordial, apple juice, apple sauce, apple butter, and apple syrup. I just have this year’s crop of beets to pickle, and I may attempt to make apple jelly again, since my apple syrup was not intentional. And then begins the tomato creations. I enjoyed my garden this year. The last two years I have been pregnant and not allowed to move/in the hospital/wishing I was dead, when garden harvest time came around. Now I have ten foot sunflowers, eight foot corn, hills and hills of potato...